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Sound Bites: June 1/8, 2012

The best lines from the week in TV, featuring ”Community,” ”Cougar Town,” and ”Veep”

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”I love how binoculars make faraway things seem like they’re close. They’re like telephones for your eyes!”

—Troy (Donald Glover) on Community

”What if we’re not around next fall? What if a new group comes in and replaces us? Everybody’s gonna be like, ‘What happened to the cul-de-sac crew? I miss them. Who are these new people? They’re not so good.”’

—Jules (Courteney Cox) on Cougar Town

”I can’t believe I was upstaged. It’s like Katrina all over again! My cologne Love Hurricane was supposed to come out that morning.”

—James Van Der Beek (as himself), after his sex tape gets trumped by a more famous one, on Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23

”He’s not supposed to register emotion. He’s supposed to be like a robot geisha.”

—Selina (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), about a Secret Service agent, on Veep

”I think the longer we just sit here, the more uncomfortable it will make Jay.”

—David Letterman, to guest Conan O’Brien while discussing Jay Leno, on The Late Show With David Letterman