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SoundBites: May 4, 2012

Memorable lines from ”Parks and Recreation,” ”Modern Family,” and more

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”I was incredible at naming drinks at the Snakehole Lounge because I care a great deal about signature beverages. The Beeryoncé Knowles — just a regular beer, but we put it in a sexy-ass mug. It pairs nicely with the Jay-Zima — we bought a bunch of Zima when the factory shut down.” — Tom (Aziz Ansari) on Parks and Recreation

”Phil, do we really have to go through this again? I told you I would do everything possible to make sure that your skeleton ends up in a science class at a women’s college.” — Claire (Julie Bowen), to Phil (Ty Burrell), on Modern Family

”I’ll tell you the best thing about dating a stripper…. Getting to say, ‘Hey, I’m dating a stripper.”’ — Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) on How I Met Your Mother

”You’re an acquired taste, like blue cheese — some people love it and some people can’t stand to be in the same room as it. They think it’s stinky.” — Arizona (Jessica Capshaw), to Alex (Justin Chambers), on Grey’s Anatomy

”Cold sore is what girls call it, Kenny. It’s actually herpes.” — Cartman on South Park