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SoundBites: March 9, 2012

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”Just be careful, Jeremy. She’s Lin-capable of being Lin-timate with anyone for a Lin-definite period of time.” — Joel McHale, on rumors that Kim Kardashian wanted to set up a date with Knicks player Jeremy Lin, on The Soup

”She’s like a dream wrapped in a wish poured into jeggings.” — Manny (Rico Rodriguez), on his tween crush, on Modern Family

”I don’t know a lot about business, but he did an Internet and now the computers like him and Wall Street is Google.” — Jenna (Jane Krakowski), trying to explain how a billionaire made his fortune, on 30 Rock

”J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, is set to publish her first novel for adults…. You can tell the book is for adults from its title, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Activia.” — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night