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Hit List: March 9, 2012

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1. Tyra Banks graduates from Harvard Business School program
Giving CNBC the confidence to finally greenlight her deglammed spin-off, America’s Next Top Strategic Planning Model.

2. Paula Abdul settles lawsuit for $900,000 from woman who fell in her driveway
Abdul didn’t believe that the woman was being truthful at first, repeatedly telling her lawyers, ”The only person who stumbles in this driveway is me.”

3. Downton Abbey season finale draws 5.4 million viewers, marking PBS’ biggest audience in almost three years
So more Americans are keeping up with the Crawleys than the Kardashians? There’s hope for us yet!

4. Peter ”Columbo” Falk bequeaths $3 million to UCLA
It actually started as 2 million, but then there were just one million more things…

5. J.K. Rowling to publish first adult novel
It’s billed as ”the one you don’t have to pretend to buy for your kids.”

6. Academy Museum of Motion Pictures buys pair of ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz
For a few hours they weren’t sure how to bring them home, but then something just clicked.

7. Ice-T’s wife, Coco, gets ultrasound to prove her butt is all-natural
While the two celebrated, the machine quietly strangled itself with its own cord.

8. Zac Efron drops what appears to be condom on red carpet at The Lorax premiere
”I do not like them in a box/I should have kept them in my socks.”

9. The Big Bang Theory becomes first show in five years to beat American Idol head-to-head in ratings
It was like the Ewoks defeating the Galactic Empire. But nerdier.

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