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The greatest interview in the history of showbiz

On Feb. 19, a new batch of quasi-famous faces (including Clay Aiken, Tia Carrere, and George Takei) will begin their fight for the right to be hired (but not really) by Donald Trump on ”The Celebrity Apprentice.” We spoke to the Donald to get his always unbiased take on the franchise

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Stop me if I’m getting carried away, but is it fair to call The Celebrity Apprentice the greatest show in the history of television?
Well, I don’t know about that, but it’s certainly a hell of a show. It’s been very successful from every standpoint. And this is the biggest one. We have one more episode, which we’ve never had before, and we’re up to 18 people. We’ve never had more than 16. So it’s our biggest one yet.

You actually had a three-hour episode of The Celebrity Apprentice last season, but you know what? It still wasn’t enough! When can we look forward to round-the-clock C–SPAN-type Celebrity Apprentice programming?
We did have a three-hour episode last year, and in this business that means only one thing: We get good ratings.

Every year I say this show can’t get any crazier, and yet it does. What’s your secret?
The concept has been amazing, the cast has been really terrific, and there’s nobody like Donald Trump.

Six people were fired before Gary Busey last season. Honestly, how is that possible?
You know, I always say that I do what’s right before I do what’s right for entertainment, and I took a little heat last year. But at the same time, he didn’t deserve to get fired until he got fired.

One thing I love about The Celebrity Apprentice is that there are always a few contestants who I had no idea were even celebrities. For instance, you have not one but two Venezuelan hotties: Dayana Mendoza and Patricia Velásquez. Who the hell are these people?
Well, one’s Miss Universe and the other is a very successful actress. They’re both really beautiful women, and they’re very smart and very cunning.

Will there be any payback for contestant Lisa Lampanelli, who said during your Comedy Central roast that ”you’ve disappointed more women than Sex and the City 2”? Sex and the City 2, Mr. Trump!
She was rough, but that was her job and I understood that. It was not exactly the most fun I’ve ever had. She’s got some mouthpiece on her.

I know Twisted Sister frontman Dee Snider is on this season. Did you guys trade hair secrets?
No, but he’s got good, strong hair, I’ll tell you that. He’s got great hair, actually. And he’s a great character and a great guy.

Did you make Lou Ferrigno angry in the boardroom? Because I heard you wouldn’t like the Hulk when he’s angry.
Lou is in such great shape. He got down and started doing push-ups and it was incredible. I really like Lou, but he’s a pretty caustic guy and he develops some strong enemies on the show.

You’ve made noise in the past about running for president. Should you end up choosing to run and win, will you commit right now to a cabinet of all former Celebrity Apprentice contestants? I’m thinking Meat Loaf for secretary of state.
Sounds like a fantastic idea!

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