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Holy Ron Swanson! First annual moustache film festival to be held in March

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This spring… all hair will break loose.

The creators of Stache Pag (as in pageant) are inviting mustachioed filmmakers of all shapes and styles to participate in the world’s first film festival devoted entirely to facial hair, the 2012 Stache Film Fest.

The festival, which will be held at Port City Music Hall in Portland, Maine on March 30, is being organized by No Umbrella Media, which described itself as “a group of mustachioed men who… are constantly caressing our moustaches and daydreaming of ways to better celebrate moustaches and maximize the moustache man’s moment of expression.” And it’s no joke: the organization’s head, Nick Callanan, has been running Stache Pag for five years, where he’s seen the number of participants grow from 40 to just under 500.

“The response has been pretty incredible,” Callanan (who himself has a moustache every winter) told EW. “We’ve already gotten submissions from three continents, and the open call has only been ongoing for a few weeks. We’ve seen a good response so far – Norway, The Netherlands, Mexico, California.”

In January Callanan released a Call to Moustache Action, which features “American Moustache Institute representative and international moustache celebrity Dr. Lou Jacobs,” below:

If you’ve ever felt the cold, cruel backhand of facial hair-based intolerance, then you need only adhere to the festival’s largest requirement: your film must be “a moustache film – i.e. there must be a moustache-related theme or a mustachioed (or fake-mustachioed) major cast member(s).” Sweet Daniel Day-Lewis—the possibilities are endless!

“We just want to keep pushing men to express themselves,” said Callanan. “We’ve been fighting for man’s facial hair freedom in earnest for the past five years.” (But if that smacks of sexism, don’t worry: Callahan assures us women are just as encouraged to enter their films in the festival.)

If the concept doesn’t sound ridiculous enough, what film festival would be complete without awards? The winner of the one-of-a-kind event will win $100 cash, while the rest will compete in some of the categories below:

  • Best Stache Growth Story
  • Best Stache Shaving Story
  • Best Moustache Death Relationship Story
  • Best Fake-Moustache Movie
  • Best Collection of Moustaches in One Film

So if you’ve got the time and the talent, find your inner Gene Shalit and enter. Who knows–you might even make the “Moust” List.