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'G.I. Joe: Retaliation': the babes, bombs, and baddies of the Super Bowl trailer

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Question: What do boys like?

A: Pretty girls who beat you up. (Check.)

B: Shooting a ninja’s throwing stars out of the air with a handgun. (Check.)

C. Ridiculous vehicles that are basically just bombs on wheels. (Check.)

D. Quoting rap lyrics like Bible passages. (Check.)

In these regards, the new Super Bowl ad for G.I. Joe: Retaliation has all the bases covered, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson opening it by quoting Jay-Z’s soldier’s lament “Don’t Let Me Die.”

Click through for a not-so-serious (but affectionate) dissection of G.I. Joe mythology and the new footage.

Sunday’s much-heralded promo for the June 29 movie starts by playing up the sex appeal, opening with a shot of Elodie Yung as the red ninja Jinx, shedding her robe as she steps forth to do blindfolded battle. (Click here for the trailer, which debuted first on Apple.)

It’s usually the kind of imagery reserved for a Calgon (‘Take me away!”) commercial, which she may just need after crossing swords with everyone’s favorite mute, masked, commando-ninja Snake Eyes.

Director Jon M. Chu repeats the technique of juxtaposing soft femininity with a bit of the old ultra-violence a little later in the trailer, when we meet Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), who was the kind of butch tough-as-nails female member of the Joe team in the 1980s cartoon.

Only here we see her first in a red ballgown — low-cut up top, and high-cut on the bottom — dancing the night away before another shot of her in butch mode, introducing a turban-wearing gentleman to the butt of her machine gun.

These shots are clearly aimed straight at the amygdala of the average, heterosexual male. But what does G.I. Joe: Retaliation offer the ladies?

NEXT PAGE: The musclemen of G.I. Joe: Retaliation ..

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