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Hit List: Feb. 3, 2012

Kid Rock apologizes for cigar incident, LL Cool J to host Grammys, and more

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Kid Rock apologizes for smoking cigar in nonsmoking venue: ”I doubt I’m the first one to ever make a bad decision while being intoxicated”
”For example,” he added, ”remember the guy who punched Tommy Lee, married Pamela Anderson, and got in a brawl at a Waffle House?”

LL Cool J to be first Grammy host in seven years
Hearing the news, Chris O’Donnell chucked his never-released rap CD across the NCIS: LA set, dialed his agent, and barked: ”Well, then get me the Latin Grammys!”

TLC to air reality dating series Undercover Princesses, in which royals hide their heritage in search of soul mates
By the time the show debuts, it’ll be renamed We Can Make Toddlers if You Don’t Love Me for My Tiara.

Jeopardy! contestant causes stir by answering, ”What is a donkey [punch]?”
If you factor in the contestant who recently answered, ”What is a threesome?” Jeopardy! is now more explicit than Tosh.0.

Kenny G, wife of 20 years separating
No surprise there — the sax had been bad for a while.

Sean Combs reportedly to launch music-centric cable network
It’s expected to reach the milestone of 25 million homes and three name changes by mid-2013.

Iranian actress barred from country after posing nude for magazine
Holding the new Playboy featuring Lindsay Lohan, Obama walked into a meeting with the Joint Chiefs of Staff and asked, ”Any chance this is actionable?”

MythBusters hosts to launch new series
Into the side of someone’s home?

The CW greenlights Sex and the City prequel
It’ll take us back to a more innocent time, when Carrie had only 90 pairs of Manolo Blahniks and was crushing on Mr. Medium.

Modern Family tot says F-word in episode
Conservative watchdog groups fear that she could grow up to be a criminal, or even a Jeopardy! contestant.