The season premiere of The Bachelor is a little over two weeks away (Jan. 2, 8 p.m. on ABC), but we’ve got an exclusive look at five “ladies” to watch, as chosen by host (and EW.com blogger) Chris Harrison. Click through for an early look at Amber, Courtney, Jenna, Kacie, and Lindzi (yes, Lindzi), as well as my thoughts on Chris’ picks.
Amber: This 28-year-old nurse from Nebraska prides herself on being “outdoorsy” and knows how to wield a crossbow. She also expects Ben to eat “beef nuts” (a.k.a. fried cow testicles) if he takes her on a hometown date. Preview package subtext: This chick has more testosterone in her left boob than Ben has in his entire body. It’ll never work.
Courtney: She’s a model from Santa Monica who’s had “a lot of experience” with competition. Ben should be aware that Courtney, 28, doesn’t get out of bed for less than a 2-carat diamond. Preview package subtext: OMG you guys she is such a biiiiiiiiiiiitch!
Jenna: [Cue the fake Sex and the City theme song] A nervous 27-year-old living in New York City, Jenna is freelance writer who has her own blog as well as frequent panic attacks about why she’s still single. Preview package subtext: She’s a ticking time bomb of insecurities, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the meltdowns.
Kacie: She is so cute and goofy, y’all! She’s 24! She wants a love like her grandma and granddaddy had! Preview package subtext: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Lindzi: She’s 26 years old, yet her most meaningful relationships to date have been with horses. That hasn’t stopped her from looking for Mr. Right — and neither did a totally
fake brutal breakup text from her last boyfriend. Preview package subtext: Lindzi just may prefer talking to animals over interacting with human beings.
If I had to pick a favorite from this lot, it’d most likely be Jenna, just because she really seems like she could use a hug right now. What about you, rose lovers?