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'American Horror Story' Murder House for sale

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American Horror Story
FX

Considering it’s been an ongoing plotline on American Horror Story that the unhappy Harmon family couldn’t sell their home (a.k.a. “Murder House”) if their lives depended on it — and, yes, those are actually the stakes — will the real-life abode featured on Ryan Murphy’s latest show fare any better? The 15,000-square-foot house, located in L.A.’s Country Club Park, recently hit the market.

Some of the highlights:

  • Six bedrooms for making demon babies and losing your afterlife virginity
  • Five spacious bathrooms where mistresses can luxuriate and psychopaths can murder nurses
  • A Halloween party-ready grand ballroom — just be careful when bobbing for apples!
  • Tiffany stained glass windows to stylishly shield homeowners from nosy neighbors and leering, disfigured men
  • Six vintage-tile fireplaces with accompanying pokers (gently used)
  • A formal dining room, ideal for indulging in your hankering for raw brains
  • A large solarium in case the fertile soil in the background isn’t enough to satisfy your green thumb

The house is available for a mere $4.5 million. (We’re assuming the jars of fetuses and sundries in the basement aren’t included in the asking price.)

What do you think, PopWatchers? Would you live in Murder House?

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