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More Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade lessons!

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It’s no Sons of Anarchy but I have to say that I enjoyed the last hour (If you missed it, check out the roundup of hour 1: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: What I Learned So Far). I’m thankful for plenty of things this year, and probably a little too close to the top of the list is the fact that my cable isn’t out. A few more things I learned from the tail end of the parade:

-Seriously, Neil Diamond is awesome. When that guy sings “America” it looks like it’s the first time he’s ever sung it. He doesn’t care that he’s singing in front of the worst replica of Mt. Rushmore ever created.

-I am really into the Spirit of America dance team people in fluorescent body stockings. In fact, I just googled that to see if I could buy one because that would be a great way to stay warm and/or hide from my children. Sadly, lots of stuff about bondage came up, so let’s just drop that concept. This parade and this post get a hard G rating.

-Mary J. Blige’s backup dancers are great. Wait, they’re not backup dancers. They’re kind of old people in taxi and Statue of Liberty costumes who don’t have enough rhythm to sway their arms with the music.

-I am not sure I understand how they made it to this parade that millions of people watch, but I think I love the 610 Stompers. “Finally, a group that would take us!” Matt Lauer said about the chubby, balding, awkward “real” guys from New Orleans. Hey, they have better rhythm than Mary J. Blige’s non-backup-dancers!

-Johnny Weir is this year’s “winter monarch”? I have no idea what that means, but it sounds important and it makes me miss his Sundance show. I think his bestie Paris would have a lot to say about the winter monarch’s ensemble.

And that about does it. The Fat Lady has sung. Rather, the Fat Guy has waved, which means the parade is over. Off to not cook because, like Lauren Graham, I’m going out to dinner tonight!

More Thanksgiving Day from EW:

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: What I Learned So Far