Like you, we like movie stars. We flock to see their films, cheer when they win Oscars, and memorize their famous lines. But sometimes they forget to return the love, cranking out movies that are so god-awful we’re left slack-jawed, wondering how the hell the things ever got made. We’re not talking about high-profile trainwrecks like Ben Affleck’s Gigli or George Clooney’s Batman & Robin. We’re talking about the under-the-radar pieces of celluloid dreck that, more often than not, limp straight to DVD and quickly vanish into out-of-print oblivion.
For instance, did you know that Johnny Depp once played a horny teen in a sex-romp called Private Resort? Or that Sandra Bullock made sweet jungle love in a cheap adventure called Fire on the Amazon? Or that Brad Pitt played a lovelorn high school jock in a move called Cutting Class? If you did, then we salute you. If not, then boy, are you in for a treat. We went back and unearthed the lamest, most ridiculous films your favorite A-List stars ever appeared in — and we giddily share with you all the hilarious highlights. Such as how Paul Rudd, as a peroxide-blond in Gen-Y Cops, chases a robot through Hong Kong and utters the line, “Roseanne Barr Arnold will be the President of the United States before you two punks see the light of day,” and how Ryan Reynolds’ facial hair changes from scene to scene in a raunchy American Pie knockoff that’s honestly called Coming Soon.
Forget roasting, brining, or deep-frying. This Thanksgiving, we bring you 24 turkeys that are delicious all by themselves.
For the full helping of Stars’ Worst Movies, pick up the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, on stands now.