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SoundBites: Nov. 11, 2011

This week’s best one-liners from shows including ”Parks and Recreation,” ”Chuck,” and more

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”Look, I don’t like to throw around the word butthead too often. If you call everybody a butthead, then it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Tom is being a real d—.”

—Leslie (Amy Poehler) on Parks and Recreation

”Do you actually play any non-videogame sports?”

—Casey (Adam Baldwin), to Chuck (Zachary Levi), on Chuck

”Since when do I care about anyone else’s happiness but mine?”

—Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla) on Once Upon a Time

”So you’re a religious man and a torturer? What are you, Catholic?”

—Saul Berenson (Mandy Patinkin), while interrogating a terrorist, on Homeland

”I hope you’re as fertile as I am tonight.”

—Britta (Gillian Jacobs), to Abed (Danny Pudi), in a horror-story fantasy sequence, on Community