Now that you’re armed with our Fall TV Preview double issue, it’s time to hit the ground running. And by hit the ground running, we of course mean settling in for a lot of television viewing from the comfort of your couch. Still, we realize this can all be pretty overwhelming. After all, for as much television as we consumed over the summer — from Big Brother to True Blood — the viewing schedule wasn’t nearly as jam-packed as it soon will be. (Plus, we even went outside from time to time!) With the premieres of all the new and returning programs just days away, now is the time to get ready. (If you’re far behind on a series, like say, The Good Wife or Community or The Vampire Diaries, you’d better start watching those DVDs to catch up riiiiight… NOW!) But, don’t fret, dear PopWatchers, we’re here to help. After all, you’ll need to outwit, outplay, and outlast all of life’s distractions so you don’t miss a moment of Survivor. Here now, a fall television survival guide:
Find a buddy: Why do we watch TV? To talk about it the next day, of course! Like in college when you’d take classes with a pal and take turns attending so you could exchange notes (which this writer totally never engaged in, just knew people who did), you’ll need a partner through the fall TV season. Shack up with your quirky pals to watch New Girl together or have weekly gatherings to discuss who your favorite contestant is on X Factor. Either way, you can’t do this alone.
Still, DVR is your BFF: Even if you find a friend to keep you up to speed on what the hell is going on on Terra Nova (pictured), Ringer, and Homeland, you’ll need a reliable back-up plan. And there’s nothing more reliable — well, depending on who your cable provider is — than the world’s greatest invention: The DVR. How I Met Your Mother is on the same time as Dancing with the Stars, Hawaii Five-O will vie for our attention while The Playboy Club is on, and Fringe has to go up against equally geeky, cult-y programming like Supernatural. DVR isn’t a choice for this season, its a downright necessity.
If all else fails, buy two TVs: And we don’t mean like on The Simpsons, when Homer put a mirror against his television set so it looked like he was watching Night Boat doubly. (Though, that’s still an excellent idea.) No, have two TVs, each with DVRs. Sure, you’ll end up as poor as the ladies of 2 Broke Girls, but when Thursday night rolls around and you need a way to watch The Office, Bones, Grey’s Anatomy, Person of Interest, and The Secret Circle, you’ll have it.
Eat: You’re going to need energy for all this television watching. And don’t mind all that business about how eating and watching television will kill you. (As far as we can remember, that’s not how the folks on The Walking Dead wound up in their predicament!) For Parks and Recreation, you’ll want to stock up on bacon and eggs (all the bacon and all the eggs), as well as the fixins for a meat tornado. But, please, no turkey burgers and definitely no salads (unless you are, in fact, a rabbit).
Drink: You can either go classy and enjoy a first class cocktail like the folks in Pan Am or guzzle some questionable beer that you’d find at Paddy’s Pub in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but either way, you should take the edge off somehow. Of course, you might feel some pangs of guilt, freely boozing it up while watching the Prohibition-era Boardwalk Empire, but just tip your glass in their honor.
Sleep: Between watching a bevy of program on your two TVs, you may fight off wanting to sleep. Don’t. Sure, you could watch Up All Night in a sleep-deprived daze at 4 a.m. (it’s still hilarious, even then) or you could blame it on American Horror Story nightmares, but you’ll need rest. When it doubt, just read yourself a bedtime story (you’ll know what those are, thanks to Once Upon A Time), get some shut eye, and rest up for another day full of television viewing.
So there you go, PopWatchers, your full Fall TV survival guide. Godspeed and a thousand Happy Endings!
How do you plan to survive the fall television season? What other tips do you have that we missed? Share in the comments section below!