On “Otis,” the first single from Kanye West and Jay-Z’s upcoming Watch The Throne, Jay-Z spits, “Photo shoot fresh, looking like wealth/ I’m about to call the paparazzi on myself.” Not to be outdone, Kanye fires back with, “Luxury rap, the Hermes of verses/ Sophisticated ignorance, write my curses in cursive!”
Ba-dum, crash. It’s been a great summer for club-goers and college kids (read: people who love LMFAO), but when it comes to witty, winking rap one-liners, well, let’s just say we’ve missed these guys.
There’s no arguing with the fact that Jay-Z and Kanye are two of the cleverest guys in hip-hop. So if you’re getting feverish waiting for Watch The Throne to drop on Monday, fear not—we’re here to help! To tide you over for the weekend, we recommend that you first watch Jay and ‘Ye’s vaguely inexplicable new teaser trailer, and then check out these other tracks we love by rhymers with a sense of humor.
HOODIE ALLEN, “#WhiteGirlProblems”
The winning one-liner: ”Nice guy, bound to finish last if it’s a sport/ Call her Cee-Lo ’cause she’s crazy and her arms are kinda short.”
This ode to first-world struggles (which lifts its title from a real and monstrously successful Twitter trending phenomenon) impishly riffs on text-message blow-offs and The Hills star Lauren Conrad. You can practically hear the smirk on newcomer Allen’s face as he asserts that everyone from Taylor Swift to Michael Phelps to Kobe Bryant has “white girl problems.”
LIL WAYNE, “Sorry 4 The Wait”
The winning one-liner: ”I stink ’cause I got a lot of s–t on my mind/ … I stand in front of the clock, ’cause I’m ahead of the time.”
Wayne’s massive post-jail single “6 Foot 7 Foot” served up gems like “Swagger down pat/ Call my s–t Patricia,” and informed us that “B—-, real G’s move in silence like lasagna.” The title track from his recent mixtape finds Weezy, perennially one of the funniest dudes in the business, gamely wisecracking about Cialis and Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy with similar aplomb.
KREAYSHAWN, “Rich Whores”
The winning one-liner: “Trust that, co-sign it, take it it to the bank/ You can put a pig in makeup but you can’t disguise a skank.”
Baby-voiced Kreayshawn’s taunting “Rich Whores” plays like a shockingly profane playground smackdown. Mentions of Trapper Keepers juxtaposed with raunchy comedic insults keep our eyes ever widening for four straight minutes.
Who are your current favorite rappers with a sense of humor? Shout’em out in the comments!
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