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Facebook and Netflix 'suggestions' stink

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Hells Kitchen
Greg Gayne/FOX

Welcome to the EW Rage Box. Disclaimer: This is not a place for problems that matter (Netflix anger < world issues), just a place to air pop culture grievances that have built up inside our souls and are threatening to burst our nerd fuse. Feel free to vent along!

I recently came to a conclusion: Despite the internet’s best efforts to prove otherwise, it doesn’t know me at all. I’m aware that for most normal people, this is a no-brainer. Of course the Interwebs don’t know me. But why, I ask, do they constantly want to act like they do? Case in point: “Suggestion” boxes.

Poor Netflix has come under fire a lot recently, and while I don’t want to beat a limping pony (I’ll leave that to Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriends), I’ve always had issues with their suggestion lists. Recently, I was insulted on multiple levels by Netflix’s insistence that I would enjoy watching Ramsay’s Best Restaurant “because I enjoyed Sons of Anarchy.” Um, what? Exactly how my love for solid writing and hot men on motorcycles means I would like to watch Gordon Ramsay scream his way to a coronary befuddled me. And aside from the fact that I detest Ramsay because of his lack of tact (if I’m going to watch an hour of screaming, I’ll watch iCarly), I was insulted on behalf of Sons of Anarchy for the mere association.

Netflix isn’t the sole website in offense here, however. Facebook has yet to learn that once I’ve rejected a person’s friend request, it probably means I won’t be friends with them in the near future. That’s not to sound snobby; this only applies to that small group of former acquaintances who have not only burned bridges but lit them on fire while you were still walking the bridge. So there’s really no need to “suggest” I should be friends with them. He cheated, Facebook! Moreover, I predict this also means I appear on their suggestion lists, often leading to awkward friend requests. Nothing but trouble. (On that note, I wish there was a button in the request section right behind “accept” and “not now” that read, “Go eff yourself.” Wow, that sounds bitter. What about just “Go to hell”?)

I’m sure suggestion lists are a good thing for some people. Perhaps you discovered a quality program or amazing television show or reconnected with an old friend as a result. That’s all dandy. Frankly, I find my friends (hi, to all three of you) to be the best guides for such things, and could do without auto suggestions. But that’s just me.

Your turn, PopWatchers. Have you ever been personally insulted by a “suggestion” on Netflix, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, or one of the other hundred sites that collects our data and pretends to know what’s best?

Read more:

Crunching the Hulu and Facebook numbers

Netflix streaming went down, Netflix user rage went up

Oh, Netflix alternatives: Where art thou?

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