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How the deficit reduction negotiations are like 'Big Brother' (hint: think of Michele Bachmann as Jordan)

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President Obama is meeting with House Speaker (a.k.a., Head Of Household) John Boehner tonight, at roughly the same time a new episode of Big Brother airs on CBS, to try and negotiate a deal about some revised form of a deficit reduction package and raising the debt ceiling. The details of how this mismatched couple will resolve this are roughly as complicated as trying to figure out the new Big Brother rules about playing in teams of two, not as individuals, and which team to nominate for eviction. 

I’m not going near the easy joke to be made about which one of these men, Obama or Boehner, is the equivalent of Evel Dick in my scenario. Fortunately, that comparison is already moot, since the Dickster has left/been booted from the BB house.

Michele Bachmann — think of her as the Jordan of the Congress — was quoted this weekend as saying that there’s no reason to raise taxes, that the country must instead engage in “tough love”… on itself, I guess, since it’s the ordinary citizen who would face the result of such thinking. This is much like the audience that self-selects to tune in to Big Brother: Viewers willingly suffer through such tough-love spectacles as pairs of contestants hanging off of giant, slippery bananas while being shot at by cannons of chocolate sauce. Which is probably what it’s like for the President and Boehner to be grasping at the slippery banana peel of an agreement only to be sprayed by the insults of Republicans and Democrats who do not want them to succeed.

In politics, as in BB, no one is trusted completely. Strange alliances form. Thus the leak last week that the President would be willing to make changes in Medicare and Social Security as part of the reduction package, an apparent sop to the Republicans, was a surprise shock to many of his Democratic supporters, who were left feeling like new BB contestant Adam: The Dems let out the equivalent of one of Adam’s heavy-metal roooaarrrrrs of outrage. Only the presence of C-SPAN cameras probably prevented Nancy Pelosi from holding up the devil-horn hand signs that Adam tosses up at the hint of any perceived injustice.

One thing’s for sure: The White House could use the presence of Julie Chen to referee this mess tonight. Anyone who can smile with the insane cackle of Rachel ringing in her ears and then go home to hubby Les Moonves, president of CBS, knows something about delicate negotiations and ought to be heeded.

Twitter: @kentucker