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Hit List: June 24, 2011

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1. TMZ reports Lindsay Lohan hosts BBQ at Venice pad, watches premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians
See? Rehabbed, house-arrested, ankle-monitored celebrities are just like us!

2. Alice Cooper says Elvis once invited him up to his hotel room, pulled out a loaded gun, and told Alice to point it at his head
Reading this story, Nicolas Cage muttered, ”Okay, okay, get to the crazy part…”

3. Willie Nelson strikes deal in marijuana case following incident last year when Texas police found pot on his tour bus
Under the agreement, Nelson is paying a $500 fine and issuing a plea of ”No s—.”

4. Former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to reportedly pen tell-all book
Wait, there’s more?

5. Metallica Monopoly board game being released
”Why do I always have to be James Hetfield’s goatee? Can’t I be the Sandman just this time?”

6. Estella Warren charged after allegedly hitting three parked cars, resisting arrest for DUI
Cops had frisked her for a good 90 minutes before booking her on a ”hot-and-run.”

7. Barry Manilow reveals that he and Suzanne Somers have made pact to produce each other’s funerals
Manilow is sparing no expense to pull off a ”Night of a Thousand ThighMasters,” while Somers is still searching for a venue that can house the four-story Coping Cabana.

8. Warner Bros. may digitally alter tattoo for The Hangover Part II DVD
Don’t worry, everything else will remain the same from the first Hangover. I mean, Hangover 2!

9. Astronaut friend of ZZ Top debuts band’s new song ”Flyin’ High” en route to International Space Station
I know — this story would be so much better if it involved ZZ Top performing on the shuttle with zero-gravity beards.

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