When you woke up this morning, did you realize that it was going to be the best Internet day of the year?
This particular piece of Internet video has grown in legend in the last few years, going from a simple green screen recitation of band names to the epic, sci-fi-channeling gem you see below. Heck, they’ve even been parodied by Saturday Night Live. (Twice!)
Hit the jump for the nearly half-hour clip, which opens with a Star Wars-style text crawl and stars Vanilla Ice. You will not be disappointed:
OK, now that you’ve watched that whole thing, take some time to recover, consult your notes, and let’s talk about this.
Back? Good. Where to begin with this? Let’s start with the lineup, which has a history of being surprisingly deep. The Gathering used to only include people on ICP’s Psychopathic Records roster (and those bands, like the Clowns themselves and Twiztid, remain the biggest draw), but they’ve branched out to include some genuine hip-hop legends: Busta Rhymes may be one of the biggest names ever to play the Gathering. (Though it’s telling that the latest Busta clip featured in the above video is “Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See,” which came out back in 1997—that music video can totally get its learner’s permit now.)
On the other hand, Ice Cube is a bigger star today (mostly for putting hoary family comedy clichés on TBS) than he’s ever been, and this is one of the few opportunities he has to dip into his hardcore past.
But really, the music in this infomercial is almost beside the point. What stands out the most? Is it the way the narrator keeps calling the viewer a b—-? Is it the promise that the pilot on your helicopter ride will be drunk? What about the fact that it’s apparently extremely easy to get laid at the Gathering? And who, exactly, is going to shut it down?