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Jane Lynch Sarah Palin FOX

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91323__sam_lJane Lynch, serving as “Acting CEO of News Corp.,” introduced The Wall Street Journal’s D: All Things Digital conference with a bit of standup that proved her deadpan delivery would work onstage if she gets that gig hosting this year’s Emmys as expected. In her new role with News Corp., she vowed to close the iPad news publication The Daily (“Never heard of it, never seen it, so clearly I’ll be shutting that down”), and take the next logical step: “I’ll be incorporating a comics page into the Wall Street Journal. I’m a big fan of Family Circus. So seemingly mundane, and yet dripping with irony. It works on so many levels.”

She’s also using her new clout to secure guest stars for two Fox shows. “I’ve also convinced Glenn Beck to stay on at Fox for one final gig — as a dying patient on House, with a horrendous malady. His sickness is consuming him from the inside out,” she says. But her best work: “Though not firm as of yet, we are pretty sure we got Sarah Palin to do a guest spot on Glee. She’ll be singing an original tune that I penned. It’s called, ‘Look at Me, I’m Batsh– Crazy.'”

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