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Sound Bites: May 27, 2011

The best lines from the week in TV, featuring ”Modern Family,” ”The Celebrity Apprentice,” and ”The Office”

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”You won an Academy Award. And you’re an even bigger star now.”
—Donald Trump, positioning his reality show as a step up from the Oscars, to Marlee Matlin on The Celebrity Apprentice

”It was a big year for babies: Porky’s had come out.”
—Phyllis (Phyllis Smith), on why a lot of babies were born in 1982, on The Office

”HBO is producing a new movie about crooked investor Bernard Madoff, starring Robert De Niro. It’s called Meet the Focker Who Stole All My Money.”
—George Lopez on Lopez Tonight

”If you do this you’ll be a social piranha.”
—Haley (Sarah Hyland), on Alex’s (Ariel Winter) graduation speech, on Modern Family