1. Jon Bon Jovi says he was buzzed out of Rock Band videogame twice when he tried to sing ”Wanted Dead or Alive”
His actual game stats? Seen: a million faces. Rocked: 19.
2. Lady Gaga says her mother used to cut her hair while she slept
It gets worse: When Mom was running low on flank steak for a BBQ, she’d snip a few strips from Gaga’s meat jumper.
3. Kate Moss reportedly hires Snoop Dogg for her wedding, also tries to land Led Zeppelin and Rolling Stones
If Kate thinks she can get Led Zep and the Stones to play her wedding, she’s definitely smoking something and — ah, now I get why Snoop signed on.
4. The Situation sues his dad
Michael Lohan placed a hand on Situation Sr.’s shoulder and said: ”May I offer some terrible advice?”
5. After stripping at club, Danielle Staub seeks help from Dr. Drew
The first step is to admit you have a problem. The second — and I know this seems unrelated, but it’s very important — is to stop singing.
6. Centers for Disease Control website crashes from traffic for Zombie Apocalypse preparedness post
It was so horrific, the CDC’s IT guys now refer to it as the Night of the Lessened Bandwidth.
7. Jessica Alba’s high school beau starts relationshipcourt.com, where fighting couples get advice
Allofmygirlfriendssincejessicaalbahateitwhenibringherup.com also redirects to the site.
8. Botox Mom, who said she injected 8-year-old daughter, claims she made up story and was paid $200 by British tab
Oh! So you’re just a moneygrubbing liar? Why, youuuu! Gimme a hug!
9. Pink outraged over pink- and purple-painted horses at Selena Gomez video shoot
C’mon, Selena — everyone knows you can’t paint horses pink and purple. They either come that way or they don’t.
10. Kirk Cameron rips Stephen Hawking for claiming heaven is a fairy tale
Choose a side, America: World-famous theoretical physicist or…Mike Seaver?