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DWTS Kirstie Alley

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Adam Taylor/ABC

Kirstie Alley may be at the bottom of the leader board going into Tuesday’s finale of Dancing with the Stars, but she’s already got a prize (or two) waiting in the wings: Broadway is calling!

“I was offered a Broadway play,” the actress told reporters after Monday’s show. “I’m not going to do it, because my friends said, `don’t do one if you can’t get a Tony!’  But I am tempted. There a couple I want to do.”

When Alley declined to give details about her Broadway ambitions, a reporter prodded her about some other post-DWTS possibilities — like, maybe, appearing on The Bachelorette? “F–k no! Are you crazy?” she said, laughing. “I would be so f–king mean. Are you kidding me? It would be bad!”

Maybe, maybe not — but that’s a question for another day. Before she does another ABC show, or vies for a Tony, Alley would like a mirror ball for all the hard work she’s done on DWTS. Take those two lifts during Monday’s freestyle dance: To prepare his partner for going sky high, Maksim Chermovskiy tricked Alley into thinking he was doing something else during rehearsals. (Their final dance, like the samba before it, earned 27 out of a total 30 points). “I had pulled my back so he goes, `put your hand here.’ I thought he was going to stretch me out but he had no intention of that. He just started flying me around. And for another one he goes, `how high can you kick?’ And then he goes wooooo (pretends to fly around).

“It would have freaked me out [had he said he wanted to do lifts],” Alley continued. “I have this bizarre thing with height. I’m 5 foot 8, and I have this phobia. When I did Look Who’s Talking with John Travolta, I weighed 114 pounds, and the director goes, `John, pick her up and take her to the bedroom.’ I’m like, no! I’m 5 feet 8! It’s going to be too much. I only think 5 foot 1 girls can fly around.”

As for the cart-wheel, Alley said it was the lesser of two evils. “I wanted to do a hand spring because I wanted to do a hand spring my whole life! But at the last minute I thought, `do you really want to try that during this last week? Because I could land flat on my back.” Good call, girl.

Alley didn’t have any final predictions going into Tuesday’s show, other than how she’s going to be “flat a– drunk during the whole damn” finale. “That’s the way to do it, right?”

We think she was kidding. — With reporting from Carrie Borzillo 

For more on Monday’s show:

Chelsea Kane: This will be my first trophy!

DWTS finals: How did the top three do?