1. Vin Diesel on Fast Five: ”I wouldn’t be surprised if there is some Oscar talk”
And it’ll go like this: ”Hey, fellow voter! Isn’t it cute how Vin Diesel thinks we’re giving Fast Five an Oscar nomination?”
2. Hugh Grant turned down chance to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men
Grant ultimately realized that he’d be a bad fit for the show since he apologized for his hooker.
3. Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez kiss at press conference
The media took it as a sign that they’re officially dating, while female Beliebers took it as a call to arms.
4. Chelsea Handler admits she and 50 Cent dated, but he bought her too many pricey gifts
How expensive are we talking, Fiddy? And would I just have to wear a blond wig and carry a vodka bottle?
5. Hong Kong hit about Ming-dynasty scholar who gets donkey-penis transplant screens at Cannes
Hope it plays with those film snobs. Wouldn’t want him to make a complete ass of himself.
6. Angelina gets tattoo of coordinates of Brad’s birthplace alongside tattoos of coordinates of their children’s birthplaces
And with that, Jolie becomes the world’s first human GPS navigation device.
7. Miranda Lambert weds Voice judge Blake Shelton, serves deer she shot for dinner
It didn’t go over so well with the guests or Shelton, who never even turned his chair around.
8. Chicago street outside Oprah’s Harpo Studios officially named Oprah Winfrey Way
But it did get a little awkward during the ceremony when a homeless man relieved himself in Stedman Alley.
9. Porn found at bin Laden compound
”We were hoping to catch him with his pants down,” says a U.S. military rep. ”But, um, not like that.”
10. Lady Gaga debuts new songs via FarmVille app
First I earn a Crop Whisperer yellow ribbon, then I adopt a strawberry cow, and now this? Excuse me while I notify all my Facebook friends of the good news!