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Hit List: May 13, 2011

Leo DiCaprio, Charlie Sheen, and more stars who made the cut

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1. Leo DiCaprio buys $1.2 mil Dali painting at auction
Ah, so that’s why I heard him yell ”I’m the king of the art world!” and ”Outbid me if you can!” when I walked by Christie’s the other day.

2. Paul McCartney to wed for third time
All you need is love, but a solid prenup wouldn’t hurt either.

3. In memoir, Steven Tyler says he’s spent $20 million on drugs
In related news, FORTUNE has named Tyler one of its ”Celebrities With the Highest Street Value.”

4. Jennifer Love Hewitt splits from beau
It seems he’s not taking it well. A friend who saw him yesterday said he ”looked like he’d just seen a Ghost Whisperer.”

5. 3-D Glee Live! movie in the works
Special glasses will put New Directions right in front of your eyes while simultaneously shielding you from being seen at a 3-D Glee Live! movie.

6. Jesse James says in autobiography that he cheated on Sandra Bullock because he felt ”trapped” in their marriage and needed to ”assert [his] independence
”C’mon, dude — that’s what a ”Nobody’s Bitch” tattoo is for.

7. Queen guitarist Brian May trying to save badgers from cull in England
”To put it in terms my fans can understand,” May explained, ”we need to be a little more ‘You’re My Best Friend’ and a little less ‘Another One Bites the Dust.”’

8. Kabbalah cofounder says Madonna had Guy Ritchie circumcised
Ritchie apparently described the procedure as being ”not as painful as four Swept Aways, but definitely more than three.”

9. Tom Clancy’s latest book, Dead or Alive, foretells some details of Osama bin Laden’s death, including his hiding out in nice house near major city
Call me paranoid, but this October I’m totally staying away from anything red.

10. Kelly Preston backs Charlie Sheen’s claim that he didn’t shoot her in arm in 1990
Reputation cleared!