So Nicolas Cage was arrested over the weekend in New Orleans, charged with domestic abuse and disturbing the peace. Dog the Bounty Hunter reportedly bailed him out. (Of course!) It’s a strange, sad story (if true), made only stranger and sadder by the most recent Editor’s Letter in the May issue of GQ. Jim Nelson had a recent close encounter with Cage at a swanky Big Easy restaurant during Mardi Gras, and the surreal, comitragic picture was “as if he were performing Leaving Las Vegas: The Musical for some perverse dinner theater.”
“He moved, stumbled, came closer to our tables.
‘Where’s the REAL girls?’ he moaned.
Huh? A few more paces. He’s a foot away from my andouille sausage. Quick. Someone feed him.
‘WHERE’S THE REAL GIRLS?’
He spotted them in the corner, and moved toward them like a drugged Sasquatch. The room seemed to sway like an uncertain boat. The two ladies, alas, had manly company at the table. This did not dissuade Cage.
‘You.’ He pointed at the brunette. ‘You’re a contender.’ He turned to the blonde. ‘You’re not.’
He was soon escorted out of the restaurant by a couple armfuls of hospitality. A manager type stood in the driveway outside and tried to gently scoot him off, the way you might shoo a raccoon you’re not sure is feral. Nearby you could hear the carnival howls of Mardi Gras. The room sighed, slowly went back to digesting.
Then we heard another tussle. Cage was at the doorway, trying to get past the manager dude, grabbing onto the walls, his arms extended out as if he were desperate to catch an existential football. His hand went through a panel in the door, shattering the glass. ‘You LOVE ME!’ he shouted to the restaurant staff, who surely at one point did.”
According to Nelson, the police arrived, and Cage was escorted home, though not arrested.
Funny Sad stuff, huh?