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Sound Bites: April 8, 2011

The best lines from the week in TV, featuring ”The Big Bang Theory,” “The Celebrity Apprentice,” and ”SNL”

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”Gary Busey is kinda like a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond — just spinning.”
— John Rich on The Celebrity Apprentice

”You’re in every movie. You’re like the white Samuel L. Jackson.”
— Jake Gyllenhaal, to Andy Samberg’s Nicolas Cage, on Saturday Night Live‘s ”Weekend Update”

”They say the elderly are our greatest natural resource. They impart wisdom upon us, and teach us all the unintentionally racist things they used to call Native Americans.”
— Alison Brie, presenting the award for Creepiest Old Person Moment of the Year, on The Soup Awards

”There isn’t enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.”
— Sheldon (Jim Parsons), after realizing someone hacked his World of Warcraft account, on The Big Bang Theory