ABC is continuing their reuse, renew, recycle strategy for the new season of The Bachelorette: Jimmy Kimmel announced tonight that Ashley H. will be the next Bachelorette when the series premieres on May 23. What do we know about Ashley H.? Let’s see… She’s a 26-year-old dental student from Madawaska, Maine; she’s got a brand new head of hair extensions; and she is not the other Ashley from Brad’s season, in case you were wondering. I won’t lie to you, rose lovers — I’m disappointed that Brad’s main dumpee Chantal didn’t wind up with the gig. She’s an emotional train wreck and therefore a natural reality TV star. Sure, Ashley H. gets defensive and shuts down emotionally when feeling vulnerable or challenged, but she’s far from being the mayor of Crazytown. I’m sure we’ll hear lots and lots about how Ashley H. destroyed her chance at happiness with Brad because of her “intimacy” “issues” — and her completely destructive desire to have a career — but it simply can’t measure up to my mental picture of a weepy, moody, stress-eating Chantal drunkenly threatening to jump off the roof of Casa Bachelorette when she learns one of her suitors has a girlfriend back home. That said, I’ll still be watching Ashley H.’s “journey.” In fact, they could make the gross skank who took off her thong at the cocktail party the Bachelorette and I’d still watch. (Actually, maybe that’s not such a bad idea…) Anyhow, are you pleased with the decision, rose lovers?
More on the Bachelor finale from EW: