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Why not replace Charlie Sheen... with a woman?

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Charlie-Harper

Image Credit: Keadrick D. Washington/PR Photos; Greg Gayne/CBS; Keadrick D. Washington/PR PhotosYes, yes, I know the show is called Two and a Half Men. But with all this speculation about the show’s future after this week’s crazytalk press tour — and many mentioning John Stamos (though sources say no such thing is imminent) — just for kicks, I’d like to throw out a different idea: How about we make it 1.5 men plus a lady? I won’t insist on the awkward title change — the thing’s a huge hit, let’s keep the name recognition! — but putting a woman in top billing on TV’s No. 1 comedy would provide at least the tiniest bit of karmic payback for Sheen and his alleged bad behavior. As The New York Times‘ David Carr pointed out, until this week, “the business interests — hundreds of millions in broadcast and syndication revenue will be lost if the show is gone for good — continued to prevail even as he terrorized the women in his life,” and he only got himself fired now by insulting his (male) boss.

So. Why not bring a woman in to play the new cad roommate to Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones? If only Jane Lynch were available for full-time work — she played Charlie’s shrink on the show, and could move in with the boys after committing Charlie! And I dream of Helen Mirren suddenly moving in, maybe as a quick-witted, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed aunt from England. But more realistically, what about Kathy Griffin? Or Roseanne Barr? Or the criminally-underused-on-Drop Dead Diva Margaret Cho? Or Wanda Sykes, whom I miss dearly since The New Adventures of Old Christine departed? For that matter, why not Julia Louis-Dreyfus, whom I can see as a roommate-turned-love-interest for Jon Cryer? Or Sarah Silverman? (Though she’d have to tone it down a bit for broadcast, even considering how raunchy as Two and a Half Men can get.)

Your turn, PopWatchers. Which lady would you love to see as the second man?

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