Camille, Lisa, Adrienne, Taylor: Who’s the most tragic Beverly Hills housewife of all? Moments from last night’s “Lost Footage” special proved that each of these four has a worthy claim to that title. (Kim and Kyle are off the hook… for now.) Let’s examine the video evidence, which includes a cameo from Camille’s ex-husband (and ex-Frasier) Kelsey Grammer:
– Adrienne is incapable of making a peanut butter sandwich without mangling the thing almost beyond recognition. Her attempt at “cooking” is so horrendous that it prompts her husband Paul to interject, “Can I ask you a question? What are you doing?”
– At a party, Taylor jokes that there’s no way for her husband to tell when she’s angry because of her Botox — a remark that really hits close to home, since seasoned RHOBH watchers know that Russell never really cares if Taylor’s angry. Because he is horrible.
– Lisa receives a call from her dog breeder, chastising her for the way she cares for alopecia-addled Jiggy and telling her that she should have the little sex monster put down. (This moment is mitigated by an adorable, earlier scene in which Lisa tries to get Jiggy to wear a sombrero.)
– Camille. Oh, Camille. She’s the star of two candidates for Most Tragic Moment. The first is an incident in which she tries to explain why she needs to employ four nannies, because she just has them on retainer! (She doesn’t have two nannies per child at all times, because that would be ridiculous!) The second is an extra scene from her ill-fated trip to the Tonys. After the awards have been given out, we see her have the following conversation with Kelsey:
Camille: I miss you!
Camille: I miss my husband.
Kelsey: I understand.
[Interminable awkward silence]
Ouch. Okay, PopWatchers, the floor is yours. Which of these moments most made you want to weep for the future of humanity?