If there was any doubt about the bonafides of our two Big Shill finalists, it was erased by their convincing Final Four victories over two advertising powerhouses from the old school. Flo the Progressive Insurance Lady treated the Budweiser Clydesdales worse than the poor pony at the end of True Grit, clinching Flo’s spot in the final by more than 41 percentage points. And the Pillsbury Doughboy just kept giggling creepily while Mrs. Butterworth — sweet ol’ Mrs. Butterworth — attempted to repeatedly tap-out during his 50 point rout.
Now the two steely icons are poised for one last shillanigan. Yesterday’s battlefields are littered with the carcasses of talking tigers and cartoon frogs — picture the aftermath of the Battle of Gettysburg if it had been fought at Disneyland. For two days, two armies will vie for supremacy as we determine who is the greatest advertising icon of them all. Both combatants have studied each others’ weaknesses and tendencies. Flo has watched hours of Mr. Bill for clues to best attack the Doughboy’s dough. P-Doughy has been consulting the GEICO Gecko and Cavemen for Progressive’s soft spot. On Sunday morning, as the entertainment world prepares for another Super Bowl filled with commercial highlights, a true champion will be crowned. Shillom.
Flo the Progressive Insurance Lady vs. The Pillsbury Doughboy
FLO, THE PROGRESSIVE LADY (Stephanie Courtney)
Product: Progressive Insurance
Debut year: 2008
Claim to fame: Flo doles out chipper insurance advice to clueless consumers in the world’s cleanest-ever insurance store.
Strength: Never-ending enthusiasm. Also: Bumpit.
Weakness: Did we mention the enthusiasm never ends? Also: Bumpit.
Product: A vast array of Pillsbury products, from biscuits to icing.
Debut year: 1965
Catchphrase: “Nothing says loving like [insert product name here]. Tee-hee!”
Claim to fame: That high-pitched giggle at the end of every ad is easily one of the most instantly recognizable sounds in advertising.
Strength: So adorable, people do not ever seem to mind he’s wandering around their kitchens, randomly interfering with their baking.
Weakness: Those same people simply will not stop touching his tummy.