• George, a nurse from Portland, Ore. who wanted to spend his birthday with Ellen, was flown to the show and not only gifted a pair of scrubs with Ellen’s face all over them — he got to be Julia Roberts’ mouthpiece as a blind-folded Ellen asked her first mystery guest questions to try to guess who it was. It was Roberts’ first appearance on the show, which DeGeneres joked was more exciting than John Jacobson, who’d been on moments earlier doing his Double Dream Hands routine. “Just barely,” Roberts joked. (Roberts also joked that she was happy she hadn’t worn khakis, and Ellen said that’s how she should have made her entrance — among his backup dancers. Seriously. Yes.)
Julia and Ellen told the story of when they flew together to ShoWest years ago. They got there, and Roberts told the crowd she just wanted to meet Ellen. (She admired her ability to pull off white Gucci loafers, Roberts said.) Julia gave Ellen a necklace for her birthday, and Ellen used her interview time to find out what they have in common. Turns out, they both enjoy The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and have dogs and horses. (Roberts also has chickens, including one named Veronica that lays freakishly large eggs.) When they had to cut to commercial and move the show along, Roberts joked, “If I’m the warm-up — Obama.” Actually, it was Colin Farrell…
• Farrell, who puckers up every time he stops by the show, brought out Ellen’s birthday cake and eventually gave her a five-second kiss that was innocent but still kinda hot. Ellen then gave a shout-out to her wife, Portia de Rossi, who was in the studio, and Colin thanked Portia for her years of understanding. “I’m deeply uncomfortable,” Roberts joked. (Was she thinking that Colin’s entrance had trumped Portia’s birthday video impersonation of Marilyn Monroe, too?) “Try comin’ out after Julia Roberts for uncomfortable,” Farrell cracked. He gave Ellen a T-shirt with a shot of them together on it in a heart frame. Colin and Julia also led an awkward rendition of “Happy Birthday.”
• A pregnant Pink, one of Ellen’s favorite people, had gotten the party started. “I came because there’s cake,” she joked. Though she also said she was there to tell her friend Ellen that she was the “baby mama,” she really wanted to say that in a world that so often focuses on what is dark, Ellen is the light. The two of them then danced to 50 Cent’s “In da Club.”
• Jaden Smith was the final guest, and what do you give the talk show host who has everything? A well in her name that will provide clean drinking water to some village for 20 years. (Colin’s present was better, I’m sorry.)
• One of Ellen’s favorite bands, One Eskimo, performed.
• The audience went apes— for “Ellen’s 1 Day of Birthday Giveaways”: They went home with a Blackberry Torch, special edition Jorg Gray watch, and a two-night stay at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas (plus tickets to KÀ by Cirque du Soleil, spa treatments, and VIP club access).