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Holiday double entendres: Which song is the greatest offender?

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Image Credit: Michael Ochs Archives/Getty ImagesI still think Elvis Presley’s “Santa Claus is Back in Town” is hands down the sexiest Christmas song out there. But after searching iTunes for more bluesy holiday fare, my appreciation for the art of the holiday double entendre has increased. Have a listen to Amos Milburn’s “Let’s Make Christmas Merry, Baby” and Jimmy Butler’s “Trim Your Tree.” And before you judge me, experience the following lyrics:

• “Hang up your pretty stockings/ turn off your light/ Santa Claus is comin’ down your chimney tonight” — “Santa Claus is Back in Town”

• “I’ll come ’round about midnight/ fill your stockings full of toys/ I’ll let you ride in my reindeer/ you won’t need a hobby horse” –“Let’s Make Christmas Merry, Baby”

• “I’m gonna bring along my hatchet/ my beautiful Christmas balls/ I’ll sprinkle my snow up on your tree/ and hang my mistletoe on your wall/ Baby, I’ll make you cheery/ Baby, you’ll call me ‘dearie’/ Baby, I want to trim you/ a beautiful Christmas tree” — “Trim Your Tree”

I vote “Trim Your Tree” the greatest offender. At the end of the song, when he speak-pleads, “Now come on, girl. I want to trim your tree,” he’s not even trying to hide it.

Think you’ve got a song that’s better/worse? Let’s hear it.