Who knew the The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2010 would be so aesthetically complex? Sure, it was 60 minutes of cameras zooming in on the chests and crotches of slinky models dressed in clothes that would get their designers booted off Project Runway. But the show also tried to do a number of things at once: Give you a sense of what it’s like backstage; give the impression that the women in these clothes are just one big happy, happy family; and give you fantasies of both of those experiences that might move you to buy some version of these clothes for your girlfriend, wife, or, I don’t know, your best pal or your grandmother, probably. Victoria’s Secret isn’t picky.
The show had the models describing each other: Lily is “smokin’ hot!” Rosie is, by common agreement, “this sexy bomb!” Chanel is “the baby Angel.” And all concur: “We’re like a complete family.” If so, where was The Stern Dad?
Katy Perry fit right in, in a periwinkle bathing-suit-with-puffy-marshmallow-hip-wings and high-heeled sneakers. The only item out of place in this fantasy-girl’s image was the big wedding-ring from Russell Brand — the rest of the girls on this show were supposed to be suggestively available, not taken, like the recently married Perry.
The show was sweet in its attempt to swaddle this ogle-fest in educational information. A segment narrated by model, er, Angel Candice Swanepoel was shot in black and white, perhaps to remind us of great documentary footage by masters from Robert Flaherty to Frederick Wiseman. Candice described her inner process: “As my transformation begins, I start to prepare myself mentally; you can almost hear people’s hearts start beating faster.”
The whole hour was gleefully lascivious amusement, a long commercial for people who don’t get the company’s catalog in the mail. Or who keep the catalogs in hermetically sealed bags, catalogued by date.
Next week in the same time period, we get The Good Wife back. Come to think of it, The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is the sort of TV Chris Noth’s Peter Florrick would probably be glued to.
Did you watch?