I know — it’s difficult to imagine another Buffy. In fact, you might feel as though you’d like to send the just-announced Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot back to the kitchen and have Joss Whedon cook you up something snarky and delicious instead. But the truth is that Joss isn’t involved, PopWatchers. Now, I know that might make you all stabby, and at the risk of being the object of your wrath, I have to share with you a secret: I want this movie to succeed. Nay, I need it to succeed.
You see, I — like many of you — have invested countless hours into this franchise. Countless. And I’ll be a vampire’s butt-monkey if I’m going to let my memories become soiled messes of mediocrity. So I’m going to guide this movie, train it, and shape it into something I’d be proud to call part of the Buffy-verse. I’m going to be its Giles.
That said, the first order of business is casting.
Assuming we’re starting from scratch (pause to take stab to the heart, react, and move on), where do we begin? TV starlets? My first thought there was Sarah Hyland of Modern Family. But at 19, she might be too young-looking for the movie’s rumored post-high school Buffy approach. Maybe movies? Amanda Seyfried seemed like a good option in my head, but her already blossoming career might make her beyond reach.
Then I came to a compromise with myself (because I was talking to myself aloud the entire time I was brainstorming): Friday Night Lights alum Adrianne Palicki. She’s my official pick. For now. (Ten to one says I’ll comb through comments later and see a name that I’ll kick myself for not thinking of on my own.)
I know it hurts to think about this, and that’s okay. But it is a great task that must be tackled by someone, and we are the chosen ones. So if you had to cast someone to fill the tiny little combat boots of Sarah Michelle Gellar, who would you pick? Let’s be open-minded until our brains fall out — because that’s what Buffy would do. And if you choose not to, well, that’s…something-ism.
On Twitter: @EWSandraG