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Dan Snierson's Hit List

10 hot topics for the week of October 29, 2010

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1. Hilary Duff bites into bagel, loses tooth on morning of her wedding to NHL player
So they could match in the photos? Awww, how sweet.

2. Liam Neeson replaces Mel Gibson in Hangover 2
Going from Gibson to the star of Schindler’s List? Was Moses too busy filming Ten More Commandments?

3. PTC blasts racy GQ shoot with Glee stars
Aren’t we being a little hypocritical, PTC? Where was your outrage when Urkel snapped off one of his suspender straps for a Popular Mechanics shoot?

4. Elton John says in new documentary that a pal once spiked his food with cocaine to make him play a longer show
Here’s another radical way to get him to do that: Ask him.

5. American Gladiators star suing T-Mobile for $500,000 for allegedly using his picture in an ad without his permission
He first offered to settle it over a friendly little game of Assault/Whiplash/Gauntlet/Sideswipe/Snapback.

6. J-Woww turns down $400,000 offer to pose nude for Playboy
A moment of stunned silence.

7. Victoria’s Secret unveils $2 million Bombshell Fantasy Bra, which boasts 60 carats of white diamonds, 82 carats of topazes and sapphires
Or you could just get a boob job for 8 grand and it’ll be a much cheaper way to draw attention — what’s that? He’s paying? Oh, then go diamonds, definitely.

8. Researchers who studied Ozzy’s DNA reportedly conclude he’s a descendant of Neanderthal Man
”But I thought I was Iron Man,” Ozzy muttered, studying himself in the mirror.

9. New reality show set at nude resort…but will only shoot people from side or chest up
The TV equivalent of a co-worker sending you a meeting-reminder e-mail with ”Free Sex!” in the subject line.

10. Two weeks after unveiling plans for a line of nail polish, Justin Bieber announces unisex fragrance
Eau No.