· Oprah, Meryl, and Sandra to star in a movie about a home-shopping network. Three beloved women for one easy payment of $12!
· That guy married to Jane Pauley (Garry Trudeau!) is a genius.
· Kelly Clarkson and Jason Aldean’s new duet, ”Don’t You Wanna Stay”
· Paranormal Activity 2 extends our fear of basements for at least another 20 years. So…thanks for that.
· We’re hiring Taylor Swift to draft all our Dear John letters.
· The new season of In Treatment: Who knew this show could get even better — and more squirm-inducing?!
· On the 300th listen, Sugarland’s rapping on ”Stuck Like Glue” isn’t that painful.
· NBC, let’s get this straight: Outsourced is on the air; Parks and Recreation is not. Are you insane?
· Maybe with her American Idol money J. Lo can finally afford a full dress.
· Jason Alexander and Camryn Manheim: Looking good there, 1997.
· Céline Dion gives birth to twins, hits notes not heard since ”My Heart Will Go On.”
· Teri Hatcher deserves better. So does Victoria’s Secret.
· Elton John and Lady Gaga to collaborate on song. Working title: ”I Just Had a Gaygasm.”
· (Hill)Billy Idol
· Any time you’re embarrassed by your family, just think about how that poor Dennis Quaid must feel.
· Jesse James and Kat Von D: Barf. Again.
· Pepto-Bismol, performing live at the Staples Center in L.A. Oh no, wait, that’s Shakira!
· R.I.P.: Tape Deck.