· Brian Austin Green’s impressive body of work on Desperate Housewives
· The addictive #yallshouldbreakup tweets. A sample: ”If you spend your 1yr Anniversary Dinner at McDonalds #yallshouldbreakup”
· And the 2012 Oscar for Best Actress already goes to…Meryl Streep for her role as Margaret Thatcher in Iron Lady.
· ”Dating you is like dating a StairMaster. It’s exhausting.”—Erica (Rooney Mara), to Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg), in The Social Network
· The Making of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back hits bookstores, reminding us that Darth Vader is the worst dad ever!
· Good week for Who’s the Boss? alumni: Tony Danza debuts his new A&E reality series, Teach, in which he spends a year instructing kids in a Philadelphia public school.
· Natalie Portman stars as one in Black Swan. Kanye West performed with them on SNL. And Lara Flynn Boyle has a new reality show. That can mean only one thing: Ballerinas are back!
· Lady Gaga reminds us that honeydew melons are in season. Zac Efron, see Jake Gyllenhaal or Robert Pattinson for how you grow a beard.
· The gawky, tall Ann from America’s Next Top Model (shown here at 6 percent of her actual size)
· Jennifer Aniston and Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan voted two of the most eligible single women in the world. In related news, Elena Kagan wants to know why John Mayer keeps texting her.
· Who knew The Hobbit would become Hollywood’s biggest tease?
· The excellent vampire flick Let Me In tanks at the box office. If only it had a shirtless werewolf…
· The song ”Gonorrhea”
· Actually having gonorrhea
· Logo advertises its new series The A-List as ”Housewives with balls.” Is castration still legal?
· Very, very bad week for Who’s the Boss? alumni: Danny Pintauro is selling Tupperware online.