Yesterday, Johnny Depp broke countless laws of logic by keeping 100 percent of his gravitas and sex appeal even while sporting family-vacation-to-Jamaica cornrows. (Somewhere, Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein are admitting defeat.) Apparently the new look isn’t just for fun: It’s part of Depp’s Jack Sparrow costume for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. But that doesn’t mean we can’t use it for a random, vaguely nonsensical poll. You know, for fun! Here goes: Is Johnny Depp sexier in cornrows, or in rows of corn?
Pros: Caribbean vibe, potential for beading, goes with those purple glasses he always wears
Cons: Hard to wash, potential for beading, inevitability of Bo Derek jokes
Rows of corn
Pros: Outdoorsy chic, corny (in a good way!), implication that Johnny cares about our nation’s farmland
Cons: Lack of visible scalp, potential for use as a scarecrow, photoshopped image that we made just for this post
Let’s bring it to a vote!