Kerrie Mitchell
September 10, 2010 AT 10:00 PM EDT

Image Credit: MTVThe Smoking Gun uncovered court documents yesterday showing that Jersey Shore star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was denied a trademark on his nickname by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for his planned clothing line. The problem was “Situation” was already trademarked by a Memphis clothing company last year, and the USPTO lawyer decided any further claim on the name would be confusing. (Sorrentino’s lawyer’s contention that the added “The” made it totally different, alas, went nowhere.)

To recap: The Situation needs a new nickname. So we here at PopWatch are ready and willing to help him out. Our first stop is the good ol’ thesaurus, which will tell me all the suitable synonyms for “situation”. Let’s try a few on for size: “The Circumstances”? Too wishy-washy. “The Condition”? Sounds like a disease. “The Status Quo”? Too…Latin. What do you think? If the Situation can’t be the Situation, who should the Situation be?

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