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Soundbites

The funniest TV lines from the week of September 6

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”How do you spell tomato?”—Snooki, attempting to write down a recipe, on Jersey Shore

”I read the CliffsNotes. Well, I saw the movie, part of the movie. Hey, I saw Jaws!” —Mel (Melissa Joan Hart), after her nephew asks if she’s read Moby-Dick, on Melissa & Joey

”The cemeteries here in New York have run out of plots. Well, CSI ran out of plots three years ago and they’re still going strong, so what is the problem?” —David Letterman on Late Show