When you’re nominated for an Emmy, the pragmatist in you says, ”I have a 20 percent chance of winning” — while the narcissist in you says, ”I have a 100 percent chance of winning.” And guess which incarnation is sitting live in the Nokia Theatre, fully made up with poufy hair wearing Michael Kors? (Yes, the boring pragmatist stayed home on Emmy night to catch up on her bills.)
”It’s an honor just to be nominated.” Funny, they never finish that chestnut with ”…but it really blows when you lose.”
It had been a while since I was Emmy-side. (First off, you never go when you’re not nominated. Sitting through the show purely as an observer is akin to attending an all-day traffic school. In Spanx.) The last time was when I was nominated for The Larry Sanders Show, when there were no such things as BlackBerries and people actually had to make conversation with each other during commercial breaks.
But in the end, s’all good. I went to a ton of parties — ”See and be seen” is not only a potential new slogan for LensCrafters, it’s the perennial of show business. I got some pretty sweet swag from a gift suite (a year’s worth of Tic Tacs! My breath is thrilled!). And the writer who actually won our category is a friend, so my schadenfreude is on ”low.” And maybe next year, I’ll be back. But my plus-one will definitely be my bookie.
Leifer, a former Seinfeld writer, is a three-time Emmy nominee. Her book When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win is now in stores.