1. Lady Gaga passes Britney Spears to become most followed person on Twitter
Gaga is just two double-rainbow remixes and one Glee cameo away from breaking the Internet.
2. Betty White wins Emmy for SNL gig, signs deal to pen two books
Yep, it’s official: This woman has accomplished more since turning 88 than most of us have our entire lives.
3. Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer wed in private Malibu ceremony
Fans don’t need to feel left out, though: The happy couple is registered at Blood, Bath & Beyond.
4. Marilyn Manson, Evan Rachel Wood call off engagement
The shock rocker is quite broken up about it. He’s been spotted around town looking pale and making anguished expressions — oh, wait…
5. Mel Gibson won’t face charges for crashing his Maserati into Malibu hillside
He has no idea how lucky he is — a reckless-driving citation can really muck up a career.
6. Daughtry performs live set in JetBlue’s JFK terminal
Alas, security cut the show short when Chris announced he was about to play a little slide guitar.
7. Jack White releasing two Conan O’Brien albums on his label
They’re already discussing a third collaboration, tentatively titled That’s No Icky Thump, That’s Just the Masturbating Bear.
8. Hairstylist charged with allegedly ripping off celebrity clients including Liv Tyler
Turns out that the $1,175 nutrient-rich follicle-rejuvenation wash was just a bottle of spring water.
9. Ice-T proves he did have valid insurance when he was arrested in July after taking his bulldog to vet for knee surgery
Although the charges were dropped, his street cred is currently being held on $100,000 bail.
10. Vanilla Ice to showcase ”passion for home renovation” with new DIY reality series
All right, stop.