Gordon Ramsay is a soccer player-turned-celebrity chef who has made a second career playing an Evil British Boogeyman on Top Chef For Dummies Hell’s Kitchen. Master Chief is a mysterious, monosyllabic space-soldier whose hobbies include saving the human race and polishing his helmet. What do these two men have in common? Simple: I misread a press release, so I’ve been under the mistaken impression that Gordon Ramsay is starring in a new show called Master Chief.
I assumed that Master Chief was a reality show in which Gordon Ramsay sat on his couch and played Halo on XBox live, challenging fifth graders from exotic places like Kentucky and Kiev to all-night FPS deathmatches. I looked forward to seeing Ramsay scream obscenities through his XBox headset (“You f—ing rocket launcher w—mongering DONKEY!”) Alas, the show is actually called MasterChef. It’s basically American Idol with food instead of singing, and it’s actually an okay show (according to EW’s Keith Staskiewicz).