the box office this weekend — Inception, Salt, and Despicable Me — are among this summer’s rare crop of non-sequel hits. Finally! Original content! That we like! But is it just a matter of time before we learn that these films, so refreshing for the lack of numerals and colons in their titles, are turned into the Next Big Franchises? Since Hollywood is built on tentpoles with maximum profit potential, I’m bracing myself for the news that at least one of these box-office successes will be returning in sequel form come summer 2012. (I say “bracing” because other than The Godfather 2, Aliens, The Dark Knight and probably one or two more that I’m forgetting, I am staunchly anti-sequel.) Here’s what the follow-ups might look like. Oh, and…SPOILER ALERT!The top three movies at
Inception II: Return of the Dream Warriors The big question at the end of Inception is, of course, “Did Leo’s top stop spinning?” But knowing director Christopher Nolan’s penchant for mind-melting complexity, we wouldn’t actually get the answer until the very end of the sequel. Even Leonardo DiCaprio’s Cobb doesn’t know for sure until after he and his squadron of REM mercenaries navigate approximately 6 zillion new dream layers.
Salt 2: Evelyn’s Revenge The movie concludes with Agent Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) jumping out of a helicopter to hunt down the rest of the Russian sleeper agents programmed to destroy the U.S. of A. Naturally, then, the second chapter would show us how much covert Commie ass she can kick while changing her hair color every 10 minutes and staunching her wounds with various forms of feminine protection.
Despicabler Me and My Three Kids Now a loving dad to Margo, Edith, and Agnes, Steve Carell’s Gru struggles to fight his evil impulses (“What if I stole the sun this time?!”) that crop up in between car-pooling and preparing healthy brown-bag lunches for his daughters.
Better ideas, PopWatchers? Let us know in the comments.
More from EW.com:
Review: ‘Despicable Me’