Annie Barrett
July 14, 2010 AT 04:30 PM EDT

Image Credit: KCSPresse/Splash NewsJavier Bardem and Penelope Cruz made their not-very-publicized romance official by getting married in the Bahamas earlier this month. Look at them. Sometimes I can’t; it’s like looking directly into the Spanish sun and the sun is chanting “S-E-X.”

If/when aliens attack and/or humans need to decide who shall represent them in the universe at large, there will be no question. In lieu of Vicky Cristina Barcelona on DVD, we should send Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem. The overlord will say “What have we here?” and they will say “We are humans, from Earth,” and all other beings will have to assume that on Earth, everyone looks like that and everyone’s in love and everyone is sexy.

We must impress the aliens.

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Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

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