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George Hamilton to star in TV Land's 'real-life Two and a Half Men,' Jonny Lee Miller heads to 'Dexter'

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  • George Hamilton is in the midst of developing a docusoap for TV Land that follows the actor and his two sons. The project is being described as the “real-life Two and a Half Men,” which means no one you know will watch it — but it will be a hit regardless — and Hamilton will start demanding $2 million per episode. (Hey, tanning’s gotten pricier since Obama came along.) [THR]
  • Break out your vuvuzela in celebration: Dermot Mulroney will direct a biopic following Liberian soccer player George Weah, who later became a politician and ran for president. [THR]
  • Jonny Lee Miller will star in a six-episode stint on Dexter, playing a character “intricately involved” with Julia Stiles’ character — until she leaves him for a guy who wears Kangol hats, and then the hottest movie star on the planet, and all he’s left with is a wedding dress with his name splattered in blood in the back. [The Wrap]
  • Fred Ward is the latest to join Ruben Fleischer’s 30 Minutes or Less, which follows a pizza delivery man forced to rob a bank by two criminals. The actor will play dad to Danny McBride…who I suppose got his mother’s looks? [THR]
  • Jessica Chastain will join Viola Davis, Emma Stone, and Bryce Dallas Howard in the adaptation of Kathryn Stockett’s best-seller, The Help. The actress will play Celia Foote, “an insecure Southern lady constantly trying to fit in with the high society women who reject her.” Maybe she should stop trying to use “fetch” all the time. [THR]
  • Wayne Kramer has been tapped to direct Pretty Boy Floyd, a film about the famous 1920s bank robber Charles Arthur Floyd, who also earned the nickname “The Robin Hood of the Cookson Hills.” Russell Crowe to walk out when he becomes enraged about Floyd’s American accent. [THR]
  • VH1 has picked up a workplace reality series, in which co-workers must vote for which employee deserves a $50,000 bonus. Because that will sure help morale. [THR]