1. Carvel revokes Lindsay Lohan’s free ice cream VIP card because Lohan family abused it
Frozen out by Fudgie the Whale? That’s cold.
2. Tori Spelling says psychic channeled Farrah Fawcett instead of dad Aaron
It got really awkward when Mr. Spelling popped up at Ryan O’Neal’s in a red one-piece.
3. Eddie Cibrian dropped by CSI: Miami, but CBS has yet to officially confirm
”If we told you before any official announcement,” a CBS publicist informed a journalist, ”that would be like cheating.”
4. Perez Hilton defends self from Miley Cyrus photo backlash: ”I can’t help it if America has a very dirty imagination”
”And when they’re having trouble thinking up stuff,” he continued, ”I just draw a penis on a celeb to help them out.”
5. Harrison Ford weds Calista Flockhart
Indy no longer indie.
6. Italian-American group says MTV agreed to limit Italian references on Jersey Shore
Hope you’re happy, Italian-American group, because now the show has canceled plans for Snooki to attend an opera with Andrea Bocelli and beat up the beat with his crew at the after-party.
7. Eminem taps Pauly Shore, ShamWow! guy to film spots to promote new album
Cool that Em is throwing some work to an ironically famous oddball relegated to the wee hours of late-night TV. Nice of him to give a break to the ShamWow! dude, too.
8. William Shatner to direct documentary about William Shatner
The project got the green light after they hit it off at a meet-and-greet, though there was a small disagreement over who’d get top billing.
9. Writers Guild advocates for scribes to be able to omit birth dates from IMDb
This could prove a logistical nightmare for the website, which was created in…well, they’d rather not say, actually.
10. Katy Perry arrives at awards show in ice cream truck, tosses sweets to crowd
The Lohans were immediately escorted from the scene on strict orders from Cookie Puss.