· Alexander Skarsgard, we will always invite you in.
· Jon Stewart to interview George Lucas at a Star Wars convention. May the farce be with you.
· Taio Cruz’s ”Dynamite”: Look for this song to explode.
· Yes, Jonah Hex was a dud, but check out Wes Bentley. Wow!
· One Day by David Nicholls is aptly titled. The book is so addictive it won’t even take you that long to read it.
· And the Oscar for Best Overly Dramatic Diver at the World Cup goes to…Kader Keïta of Ivory Coast.
· Eminem says he’s pro-gay marriage. Why should straight guys be the only ones who get to fantasize about killing their spouses?
· Sarah McLachlan and Indigo Girls release new albums in advance of new Lilith Fair tour. Back in 1997, Bullseye is ecstatic.
· Angelo on Top Chef: D.C.: We’ve seen you and your bacon foam before — only it was season 2, and you were named Marcel.
· Cameron Diaz says she travels for c–k. Foghorn Leghorn offers to pick her up at the airport.
· Miley Cyrus, remember how that skimpy black dress turned out for Britney Spears.
· American Idol catches a case of the Biebers: 15-year-olds are now eligible to audition.
· Amanda Bynes quits acting. Acting is like, ”Not true! I totally broke up with her.”
· Vanessa Carlton says she’s bisexual, which makes her the 7,854th most famous bisexual named Vanessa.
· Bernie Madoff reportedly has a hidden stash of cash. Great — now he’s totally ripping off Damages.
· California gurls aren’t the only kind Russell Brand likes.
· Pamela Anderson wears a flower on her head. It’s official: she has fertilizer for brains.