Dimension has revealed its latest poster for Aug. 20’s Piranha 3D — and it’s as disappointing as a Kenny G song without the soprano sax. Come on, Piranha 3D: You’re a movie called…Piranha 3D. We should fully expect the poster equivalent of processed orange Easy Cheese, and what we’ve got here is a hunk of brie. I mean, we’re talking about a movie with a plot involving giant, growling (yes, growling!) fish attacking teens whose key to survival seems to be simply staying out of the water!
And yet all I want to do is send this tooth-baring fish back to the Jurassic Park reject pile from which it came. (Because, does it even look like a fish? I’m seeing T-Rex snout.) So, I say try again, Dimension. I want to see stupid. Something along the lines of gigantic piranhas exploding as they launch themselves into buildings. Ask SyFy — they’ll know what to do.